#im assuming thats your tag ^^
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I think that the party's communication issues can be summed up as "man, is it awkward to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you've only know them for a few months? Probably."
#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#listen they will kill for each other but also its such a short time???? like??? thats part of the tragedy tbh#like!!! yeah theyll go back to their previous lives bc who in their right minds throw out everything they were doing before for people youv#only known for a few months and it turns out all of them do bc theyre insane for each other but!!!! like!!!! thats still a big ask!!!!!#yeah lets throw out everything we've ever know to be together lets fucking go and then they do in the end!!!! but!!!#thats because theyre all are ride or die to the extreme for each other!!!!!! far more than siffrin thinks anyone will ever be for him!!!!#anyway I have a lot of feelings about the party and just how bonkers (affectionate) they are#yeah no siffrin I too would not expect people to put aside their previous lives especially if its clear they have other plans#'yeah im gonna invite myself over to your house to live here lol' yeah no I would not assume that!!!!!!!#the issue is more that issue doesnt communicate what he really wants because if they do and his family says no then... being together truly#will end so he doesnt ask so they never will get a no so it never has to end (and has his reason to keep going)#this is turning into an essay in the tags but like. God its a wild set of circumstances so#tbh Siffrin not thinking the party wants to travel together is not wild to me neither is family not communicating#them wanting to be together ALL OF THEM wanting it is... unbelivable in these circumstances#but they do bc theyre all insane and ride or die but the extent of which is a mystery to all of them#anyway thats my essay in the tags#just read the no loops fic where the adults minus siffrin all offer to bring bonnie to bambouche and had FEELINGS about it#my posts
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seeing ari answer recent asks while mine is rotting away like a decaying corpse for months make me feel like the ugly duckling
……. anon please know that i’m not saying this to be mean but asks like these are . kind of hurtful??? and i’d appreciate it if you didn’t send any more :’) my ask box is quite literally overflowing to the point where i’m considering turning them off completely, i have like . 400+ unanswered asks at the moment so you’re in no way the odd one out, i’m not ignoring you, asks just end up piling up for a plethora of reasons. i genuinely have zero clue when i’ll get to yours because that would involve me digging through my inbox and that will … overwhelm me even more
i understand being frustrated but please don’t put pressure on me, answering asks is not an obligation for me in the first place, it’s something that i take time out of my day to do because i enjoy it!!!! i don’t want this to come off as mean but your ask did sting a bit 😭😭 i promise i feel plenty guilty enough
#like please .#i’m assuming that people severely underestimate how many asks i get#and that’s fine !!!! but like#please know your ask is not the only one rotting lmao#most of them are#and i do have plans to answer them but atp i have very little motivation to do so#because of how behind i am with . all kinds of things + the fact that i get asks like yours very very often#:’) please understand that im trying my best#i’m just a guy with a blog and constant uni work#and a barely functioning brain#i love talking to anons but im not always able to . thats all i want you to know#ask tag ✩
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Make you vile, Make you a spectacle.
They need to calm down from hitting each other with pipes
#bart#limbus company#ishmael limbus company#ishmael lcb#ahab limbus company#Ahab lcb#i think about ahab more than i let on and thats all y'all will know#the prequod is a sort of...idk podium to stand upon and confess yourself to your fullest onto#it talks a lot about faith and keeping it despite the depths but the second you falter the second you step out of the self assumed light#you'll get straight up swallowed whole#idk herman wrote some wild shit in there and some folks know i do backflips just to avoid Christianity#obviously the white whale is a sort of trial by mockery of faith but like idkkk#WHATEVER BACK TO CAPTOTE (did not spell that correctly) ishmael and how violently horrid it is with ahab#that ego is a sort of play on ishmael taking everything just to guide the others out of the pit they find themselves in#she bloodies herself and makes her flesh unrecognizable to the most keen of eyes just to find a way through#to put a blind bull through the thing that denounces other authorities and claims it is above all#ahab is that sort of red that ishmael endlessly chases after like a wheel#no matter how many harpoons are buried deep in ishmaels flesh she will still move forward if not die with a hand reaching in front#eh im not gonna explain too much in the tags because I'm ill
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As a reminder, I want to let everyone know I do NOT want anyone who ships Spruce and Chip following or interacting with me. I thought it was kind of obvious but I suppose writing it out directly is needed.
#clemramble#IT CANNOT BE THAT HARD TO *NOT* SHIP CHARACTERS WHO HAVE A BROTHERLY RELATIONSHIP#There's been a few cases where I find out someone who interacted or even followed me does.#Obviously if someone doesnt know about their dynamic then thats different. but I digress#I'm not rocking with any of that. I don't get into fights with people over it anymore#but if youre into any of that just know I dont want you near me. and if i find out im blocking you#i assume everyone who follows me also isnt okay with it#but because i keep seeing people pop up in the tags every so often. this is a very direct post on my stance on it
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one of the hardest things you can do, but one of the most rewarding, is understanding the fact that if one of your friends is annoyed with or mad at you, they will tell you. and if they are annoyed with or mad at you and they dont tell you, that burden is on them, not on you. catastrophizing in your head about how your harmless interactions might be enraging or disgusting a friend is damaging to you both. if someone respects you as a friend and as a person, they will tell you if they need a change. otherwise, its not your problem, baby. you are both individuals capable of communicating your needs, and neither of you (i am assuming) are telepaths.
#well if youre telepaths that introduces a whole new thing but i wont speak over telepath experiences#anyway sliding this post between silly ones dont look at me#this was inspired by a conversation w an old high school friend#m text#additional tags edit: im referring to like. regular interactions. if youre out here like actually stabbing people or calling them slurs and#being a genuine shithead that makes people feel unsafe thats different#i mean like if youre loud or infodumping or weird or just concerned youre annoying and off... let them tell you instead of#assuming it
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GETS AN IMAGINED FORM IN THE HEAD. GETS KILLED IN 3 CHAPTERS. BRAGGIO IRONHOOK.
#he (me) was forced to post bc his friends tell him to post his sketches n doodles ... TRAGIC#anyway im assuming spoilers arent needed since the books are older but idk lol#but a quick sketch of braggio bc while i was reading those 3 chapters i did like him n gave him like . a form . yknow wat i mean#w/ characters having an actual form in your head if you like them#thats also why hes shirtless tho (not creative enuff to make an outfit) but i thought he was buff but uhm. the text never says that. awkwar#i jawdropped when he died. DAMMIT I ALREADY GAVE YOU A FORM DONT DIE!!!!!#the book text is the book irl since i was too lazy to pull up zlib lol#redwall#my art#<- he will fill this with tags of minor characters
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sometimes teh hater agenda gets to me. and i need to reason myself away from it
#my brain is telling me to respond like the other person did and explain that no. it actually DOES convey her personaility.#-> -> hiding in tags#found someone complaining about a rhine design on pinterest and i know who it is and. sorry#i jjust think its really disrespectful. and mean. and weird. and funnily hypocritical#4dango's rhine design was absolutely stunning !!!!!!!!!#given we have no TRUE basis for her apperance. the fact they derived all of that from her teacup??? holy shit !!!!!#a million golden stars !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#rhine is a PURPOSEFULLY ambigious character.. saying a design doesn't correctly portray/convey her is.. very dense#and clearly implies they have only a surface level interpretation of her#4dango does a lovely job at showing elegance + the colour concept (dark under light !!!) + its purposefully encapsulates#the concept of appearance not equating to her morality and such#its UNIQUE#as much albedo based designs are lovely;; 4dango has a wholly unique design. and its very rhine (in my opinion) !#dare i say more than the person im assuming made that comment.#'As a Rhinedottir liker since 2.3 this design does not convey her personality AT ALL.'#WHY WOULD YOU. SAY THAT?????/ THATS SO MALICIOUS???#stop! being! mean! youre not cool youre just edgy and putting down people#your interpretation is not right if you think she's super duper only evil and needs to be portrayed that way. in the bin#crepe rants#-> somebody PLEASEEEE tell me im not insane . or convince me to do it#KIDDING ON THE LAST PART. partially#sorry the nyc public schoolkid in me is yellling for me to go insane over it and tell them to stop being an asshole
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I think you’re talking about these posts [here & here], I don’t know if there have been others.
I'm not gonna say what I did was right, you are correct I should probably just not respond to asks getting me to talk about other people. I will say for these two posts those people had already blocked me I’m pretty sure, so it’s kinda hard to talk directly to them in that case. And I was not doing so anonymously and had not blocked them so I wasn’t hiding what I was saying. I did not follow them, I am not part of the innitor community, and not that that makes it right but I do think it is kinda different. Though you make a good point, perhaps we should stop this pattern of responding to asks about other blogs and such.
Still, the biggest thing to me I realized, back in elementary school when I first dealt with this, was that honestly all the time we talk about people behind their back. Talking about people when they aren’t always in the room is kinda just inevitable and part of socializing, however I think the important part is how you are talking about other people. It’s when you are insulting them, talking negatively about them to people they know, spreading false information and so on that it becomes not okay. Hopefully that makes sense.
In these cases I merely focused on the lore. I didn’t insult them or talk shit about them, as a person, as a blog or say their takes were stupid or they are stupid or speculate about their trauma or mental history. I just talked about reasons why I disagreed, or saw things differently and why we might see things differently. They were also not the only ones I saw to say similar things so I think in my mind I was making more of a general discussion, not trying to target them specifically. I didn’t post beyond that about them. But you are right, regardless it was probably not the right way to go about things.
But just to be clear, if I am a hypocrite it is not my intention. I haven’t vague blogged anyone or meant to vague reblog anyone. I think this week is pretty much the first time I’ve ever been not naming, passive aggressively talking about blogs, and even then I’m not trying to insult them, trying to cancel them. I’m just expressing that before you go off about how I’m stupid and unable to have a discussion about it, the very least you could’ve done was give me an opportunity to try.
#I’m not going to say I’ve handled everything like I should. I feel like usually I try to tag people and include context and pictures so I’m#not trying to be passive aggressive or talk about people behind their back.#I’m not hiding. I haven’t even used the Tommy neg tag and I feel like I always leave things open and - here is my opinion it is not the onl#one or maybe even the right one or - here are my thoughts at the moment of 1am or here is the lore…#I made my alt name and image very clearly still me. I’m not trying to be sneaky or backhanded or insult You for an opinion or call You dumb#and if I have insulted or hurt someone I’m genuinely sorry and didn’t mean to. Something I try to reiterate#as my tone can come across as aggressive#crumbs#hello there#but see how we can have a discussion of -hey flora maybe you shouldn’t be talking about other people without tagging them or going directly#to them and I can be like - yea you have a good point. your right that’s not being respectful to them.#clarifications#thats what I'm really asking for. the respect to see if I am going to be as bad as you assume. give me the benefit of the doubt#I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know all the internet etiquette or slang. this is my first time participating in a fandom#my first time on tumblr. on ao3. the first time I've gotten actual like interactions on things beside like graduation pics#not to plead ignorance as innocence#but I know I don't know everything & am not claiming to thats why I try to leave safe space for people to come respectfully to me#after feeling aggressive backlash and seeing it happen I have since tried to make sure I try to respect other people's opinions#now that doesnt mean that if you just leave an anon in my inbox Im going to respond to it if I have already talked about it.#- okay you disagree. I stated my opinion you've stated yours and if there is no further point to discuss then I might not respond#though I did make this blog to perhaps respond more to things like that since you did take the time to say it the least I can do it respond#(and I cant just send you a direct message if you go anon <3)#uh... anyways didn't mean to leave an essay here oops... hope im making sense to someone :)
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evan: *ranting about a rosier family event*
barty: ditch the thing
evan: doesn’t work that way
barty: im sorry
i should work in a drug mafia, i’ve got an eye for weighing the stuff
barty: okay those two messages should not have been grouped together like that, its been six minutes
barty: undermines the whole sentiment that way ffs
#surprisingly here i’ve got you#rosekiller#based on my texts#i think i’ll actually be putting this interaction in a fic im writing#dont you just hate it when your messages get grouped together even though they were sent at different times#like tf are you assuming i couldn’t possibly have had a new thought in the past quarter of an hour#thats mean#boo’ing you rn for harmful ableism#i should probably be wrapping up the tags section now#marauders#marauders incorrect quotes#slytherin skittles#barty crouch junior#evan rosier
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i think the whole discourse around whether or not cishet aro men are queer stems specifically from the idea of allo aros being hypersexual - and so the idea of an allo aro, specifically a straight aro man, draws to mind the idea of like, fuckboys, or sexist men who only view women as sex objects, etc. And that is likely why the idea of cishet aro men leaves such a bad taste in apparently so many peoples mouths
now, i’ve spoken before about how attraction =/= libido. i’ve mostly spoken about this in the context of being ace, where asexuals can still have a libido despite not experiencing sexual attraction. the confusion and conflation between attraction and behavior has been a huge source of frustration for me with regards to the popular idea of asexuality and how it has confused me on my path to figuring out my own sexual identity over the years
BUT. the idea holds true not only for aces who have high libidos - but also for allosexuals who have low libidos. the idea that to be allo aro is to immediately be some hypersexual fuckboy is just, so warped? just because you experience sexual attraction but not romantic attraction does not mean you immediately become some sexist pig who always needs your dick wet. like idk it’s just beyond fucking frustrating to see the way that people sexualize alloaros when they’re just - they’re just people. you would not assume what another person’s sex life or libido is if they were otherwise alloromantic allosexual, because your orientation describes the way you experience attraction, not your behavior and sex life, nor your libido. in the same way, being alloaro has literally nothing to do with what your actual libido is. so why are allo aros the exception? to try to divide the community and exclude them based on your assumption of their sex lives is just so fucked
#brot posts#aro tag#gonna get a bit TMI here. beware#i think im definitely acespec i dont know if im fully ace or not but im definitely acespec#and i dont care to define myself further than thst cuz its just gonna be frustrating for no reason#and the reason why i get so mad about the idea that aces inherently dont have sex#is that like - im acespec and i definitely have a libido of some kind#im still a virgin tho! like im not out here being some fuckboy#i just jerk off about it like jesus christ#like when you have this idea of alloaros in your head of being some hypersexual freaks with no boundaries and disrespectful of their#partners etc insert every fuckboy stereotype#its just - why are you assuming things about their sex lives and then deciding you dislike them based on your assumptions#1. how do you know theyre even having sex? all because theyre allosexual?#not all allosexuals have sex…? and not in a celibate way?#they could just jerk off about it and be perfectly content that way. same as me!#2. and even if they are having sex who give a shit? fwb exist you can easily have respectful consensual sex without romance#to assume otherwise is just….#well dare i say it. its very sex negative. you have messed up ideas on sex if thats what you think
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.
#is this a bad time to mention i dont even believe in souls?#i really dk why.#no this isnt abt jiro somehow apparently having a loving family#(ok like. at least 1/4 of it is BUT STILL. NOT THE POINT)#(part of me feels awkward abt it bc just. huh? youre telling me. this guy. that i basically am the irl version of. has a loving family???)#(/j and all but just. idk part of me feels awkward now? it just. a guy who blew himself up for most of the same ideals i have)#(gets to have the one thing i yearn so very hard for. everyday of my life. but can never have.)#(ill get over this in like. 2 hours. hopefully. most of thats just shock anyways.)#just. for the past some days. besides a couple things and people. hurt and love havent really. made me feel much of anything#like being cared for by actual ppl even online. yeah. it still does but#even my fantasies don’t entertain me anymore#oh god am i becoming lopt. save me fuck#UNLESS this means i get mason as my bf. then hell fucking yeah (kidding kidding kIDDINGG i dont wanna be lopt. please.)#but srsly. usually i can envoke some sorta reaction from myself if its brutal enough#but. nothing.#id assume that im over doing it usually. but i havent in a good while#maybe this is some what where my art/writers block is coming from#whatever this hell is.#time to go on a spiral of mildly depressing and somewhat cryptic posts (cryptic if i didnt info dump in the tags that is)#why is it so hard to confront issues when you dont even know what the issue is?#i just. wanna be able to make myself feel something.#not in a “i have no one but myself” way for once. just. i dont wanna have to rely on others for my emotions#i want to feel a pang of hurt. yet it feels so empty. i dont want to harm myself. i just want to feel it.#anyways ig.#ig im gonna just sleep#which tbh im growing to hate bc like. i feel all i do is sleep. i sleep to avoid how much my own body hurts. i sleep to ignore my issues#i sleep to ignore the fact i keep forgetting to respond to people even though ik i have to at some point. i sleep to avoid the dread of not#getting anything done. i sleep just because im bored.#and im tired of sleeping.#but. it feels worse awake. my body hurts. my mind hurts. it all just hurts.
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playing casual solo without my friends for the first time for 6 hours straight has taught me that spy mains are some of the most devious people on the planet
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 spy#tf2 pyro#tf2 sniper#silly post btw i have nothing against spy mains lol#just the 10k hour sweaty spy mains that are toxic as shit#unfortunate type of player i encountered a couple of times#also these r my actual sniper and pyro loadouts#pyro is rlly fun in casual !!! i love the scorch shot#i heard people get rlly mad when you use it#but i havent recieved any toxcicity towards myself or others for it yet#unfrtunately played more rounds with toxic people than w non toxic people#but the chill rounds i did play were super duper fun!#found a guy in zombie infection who had an absolutely spot on muscle man impression it was super funny#everyones doing their contracts right now also#which i assume is making a lot of people a bit more lax#fun fact for reading the tags this far#back when freaky fair was still in testing#me and my friend found like an insane game breaking glitch#where you could literally just turn invisible#i uploaded a bunch of clips of us doing the glitch on bots to youtube#and commented on the workshop page to let the devs know#to this day i dont know if they fixed it#im hoping they did though because some of the new maps r still broken#zombie infection has a glitch where the zombie sniper ability literally covers your entire screen in a missing texture#everyone in the lobby died to that at least once loll#everyone in text chat was complaining#anyways sorry thats enough yapping for now#gonna take a nap probably gn :D
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omg spacie jumpscare(s) !!! i'm being bombarded !!! don't make me use my special attack (the rabbit)
you didnt even know.but i remembered tem. i remembered them starbs. i remer so well. see it so clear in my minds eye. jesus christ. mental illness. me. me mental illness my disorders
#spacie splains#hey man#something is happenign to me. \#i could have kept going#theres a lot#like. a lot#i tried going thru all your art tag but i assume its a new one b/c not all of your art was there#anybeans#GET LOVED MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#DIE DIEDIEIDEIDEIDEIDIEIDE EXPLODES YOUR NOTIFS EXPLODE EXPLODE EXPLODE BOOM BOOM BOOM BLOW UP TO SMITHEREENS#WAHAHAHAHHAA SEEING THE SPIKE IN MY OWN NOTIFS WAS SO FUNNY AWAHHAHAHA#yeads.....everybody come look at PEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#christ. sickness has overcome me#physcial symptom#disorders stop activating. please.....#i have the ability to be so. annoying#i will do it again#shoutout 2 tumbler user and my best friend madam mongoose you are . aweosme sauce#i said this in a discord server im in but you ever love a character so much u want 2 cry#thats me. at your springtrap. (and springtrap in general but-)#i think ive been insane enought for today#maybe i should log off (doesnt do that)#coughs up blood#keels over and dies
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i remember i got this comment under one of my fics asking if i had made jo trans and i asked why they thought that. and they replied bc she was wearing mens clothes and a sports bra like you have to be kidding LMAOOOOO how they hell did we come back to clothes = gender
#i assume they meant transmasc bc like sports bras compress your chest???? they didnt specify which way but thats what im guessing#and i tagged the fic as f/f too like what#when the sports girl wears sports clothing 🤔🤔🤔🤔😱😱😱
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even online i cannot escape middle-aged adults trying to tell me their life story and hit on me,,,,,,,,, help,,,,,
#why was a 52 yr old texan trying to hit on me on THIS BLOG OF ALL PLACES....... BRO..........#and telling me about his divorce and everything 😭😭#also im sorry USamericans but uhm. some of yall are a little funny sometimes with the way you live in such a vacuum fdsjkl#(it is not ur fault and i understand that and i do not blame u for it. nor am i saying you are stupid or anything like that fdjkl)#(but also why tf do u not put your country in ur address for shipping.... literally every other country in the world does that JFDSJKL)#but anyways he asked me where i live and i said turtle island bc thats a safe vague answer and he... assumed it was michigan??#for some reason ????#but what could i expect from a 52 yr old texan trying to ... hit on a 22 year old. on tumblr. goddamn. sobbing on the ground.#WHY DO I ATTRACT THESE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE I GOOOO#i've heard so many woes and life stories of middle-aged adults and been hit on so many times and im so tired 😭😭😭#sometimes its interesting to hear about ppls lives but not when im like. busy with shit. like at school or at my workplace or on my blog😭#WHY WAS HE MESSAGING ME ON /THIS/ BLOG OF ALL PLACES. BRO. FJDSFJKL#this is my blog where i get silly over FICTIONAL CHARACTERS HDSGJKL CMONNNN MAN#vent //#ask to tag#dandy.cmd
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